Why can't I even get started?

I bought a book a few years ago called "What to do when you want to do everything. That pretty much sums up parts of my life.
Like now for example: I can not even seemt to get a blog post down bcause: wait for it; I have too much in my head. Too many thoughts, so I don't know where to start. How to entangle some threads and actually put them down in the blog. Even my notebook is filled to the brim but so unorganized I don't know which page to start on. I have thousands of pictures and hundreds of pinterest pins that I could post, but instead; nothing.
I think the reason might be that I put so much pressure on myself;  I judge my day to day musings with all these amazing blogs. I should just do it for myself and get on with it, now!

To my twenty something year old self

I want you to know that everything will be ok in the end. You might not ever find the meaning of life during your lifetime, but I am confident you are better off not knowing the whole truth. The searching is what makes you. Because if you had found it what was there left to look for? A life without any difficulties?

You will understand that it is the challenges that makes you grow, makes you into the person you are.

Satisfaction can be your worst enemy. Of course you need to value what you have- without that you will not be happy today; but if everything is good -if you don't want anything, then apathy sinks in. That is not you.

You are unique -crazy and difficult sometimes, but that is what will get you somewhere in the end. Why try to be the same as others? Try to find your own voice -speak out, because when you do; people will listen. By being you; you will get everything you wanted, ( also what you did not know you wanted) so chill out, don't be so hard on yourself. Enjoy the journey!

Be proud of yourself for sticking out. Of course you would not become who you are in your mid thirties without all the self doubt, soul searching and sometimes very self destructive behaviour.But the friends that will stay with you and the people whom you will love are of the best nature in every way.

Don't stress about not being in the right place at that moment of time, all of it will come. Mabye a bit later than for others, but it is your journey and what a journey it is!

Summer is here

Why does London always go from winter straight into summer?
I am not sure how good it is:

To never ever get to wear the "spring clothes". In Sweden every wardrobe consists of at least the "spring jacket" but the ones I own I have never worn here in London. They are oh so beautiful, some are in leather but with a tiny bit of lining which makes them to warm for now. At the moment it is to warm even for a jumper, the whole of London is out in sandals and short skirts!

It does not give us or the animals a chance to long for summer. When spring is here there is always a feeling of what is to come. We are happy and walk around knowing that it will only get better. But now, we take the weather for granted, sun is here to stay etc. But really since it is only March, we will probably indeed get rain, and then we will all be so terrible annoyed with the weather and forget what we have had this week in March. Was it only spring we would accept rain and know soon the real thing is here!

The flowers are out too early. The flowers which are normally here around easter have already bloomed so what is left for the summer soon??

We are in draught already here in London, so the sun does not exactly help that or the flowers which might pop up later on since there is already now a hosepipe ban.

But since it is summer now, go out enjoy it. Soak up every ray possible since the summer will probably be like most english summers: wet and cold!

Being back

I have been wanting to write for so long, but life with a newborn has held me back and somehow time has passed and it has felt harder and harder to come back. I mean how do I sum up these past few months?

Do I just skip the biggest event of my life and fill the pages with the now?

It probably is the only way that I can come back into blogging, so that is what I will do. Maybe in the next few weeks it will feel like an easier task but for now, my challenge is to be back here in the evenings and write about whatever I feel I need to put down. To be honest, with a rawness and hopefully bring some beauty into the blog.