Satisfied, who me? Never!

Why I am so confused?

I was so naive before I had little Gu. I thought being off work would mean lots of time for me to do what I have put on hold: cook all those recipes stored away ( actually; first organize them into the recipe folder), do voluntary work in the zoo with little Gu on the back, write that children's book I have in my

Why am I never just content and satisfied?

I used to read all the bestsellers of the "self help" shelf. Somehow I never got bored of learning how to become a better person, how to find the meaning of life, how to be in the NOW and how to have the most amazing relationships. Not sure if any of them really gave me more insight into how to live a happy life; I decided to quit them and listen to my inner voice. 

But it always asks for more. It is never truly still, even during the meditation class ( actually it is louder than ever during that class). So what is wrong with me? 

After my months of travelling the world, I thought I had finally got it! I was constantly on a high; never ever negative, I saw the best in everything and everyone, counted my blessings and so fourth, until; I started to worry that maybe it was not to last:  Maybe the combination of having had a fantastic year in some of the most incredible places in the world and being loaded with lots of pregnancy hormones had something to do with the fact that I believed I had "found myself". Would I get a hangover once the baby was born 9 months after arriving home from the trip?

Of course I did, it slowly crept up on me. How could it not? When the first few weeks after little Gu was born and the happiness hormones started to leave me, I came back to my old self with a big bang!  

But then the more I started to think about being satisfied and "the grass is always greener on the other side" the more I realized that is it really such a bad thing? I mean if everyone was content and happy with their life nothing would really change. Would it?  Noone would dare to strive for more, or challenge themselves; we would all stagnate basically. So being completely satisfied is basically counter productive  to today's modern society, at least for me and I therefore should stop trying to reach that state!