Without the sun one have to work that much harder

I am determined to keep active in order to feel inspiration coming back into my life. For the moment I am quite struggling with my morning pages on some days, but I know that it gets easier after a while and it is just parts of the process. Yesterday I had my artist's date at the National Gallery. I decided to visit the usual suspects as I never tire of them. ( and the Italian rooms always makes me feel it is too much to take in and I can not focus) Concentrating more on the light and what they do to me. Are we not lucky to have all these masterpieces at hand?? If you are bored of London you are bored of life.... yeah whatever, but really think about it. How can this not be true?

                                                               Bathers at Asnieres by Seurat

Grand canal Venice by Monet

Irises by Monet

Snow scene by Monet

Fighting Timeraire by Turner

The toilet of Venus by Velasquez

Bathers by Cezanne

 I can sit and stare at Irises by Monet for a loooong time. When I came home I had to go against my policy and actually cut my first one in the garden to bring in , but the pleasure it gives me! 

 Breakfast has always been sacred to me. As I have time to play for the moment I try to vary it as much as possible on a small budget, so I bake and bake and have lots of fruit. 

Mixed passionfruit and natural yoghurt. Cut peaches, passionfruit, raisins and oatbran.

Out of hibernation

I can not remember when exactly my bear behaviour started, but in the winter, apart from doing outside sports and going for long walks; I have never really enjoyed socialising outside. I love giving myself the permission to stay at home during the cold days to expand in any way possible ( yes, even the food way). So I am not sure why I have felt so surprised since i got back to London that I did not feel for venturing outside apart from going to my life painting class. But somehow I seem to have woken up now, even though it is still only February so hopefully there will soon be some interesting postings on this blog. In the meantime a recipe cooked in my dungeon today:

Herbchicken with roasted vegetables for 4-5 people

4-5 frozen big chicken fillets 

2 middle sized red onions

7 peeled garlics

3 carrots, cut lengthways into pieces

2 peppers, cut into pieces

Some potatoes and sweet potatoes cut into pieces. Peeled or unpeeled it is how you like it.

1 tbsp dried thyme

2 teaspoons of rosemary

3 decilitres of white wine

10 Black olives ( not a must)

Heat the oven to 200 degrees.

Coat an oven dish with olive oil. Fill it with the frozen chicken fillets, the vegetables, the olives, garlic and all the potatoes. Pour about 2 teaspoons of salt on top,quite a lot of black pepper and the dried herbs. Pour the wine  and 2 tablespoons of olive oil over everything. Let it stand in the oven for 60 min. Turn the heating down a bit the last 10 min. 

Serve with a salad made of baby spinach, watercress, pomegranate and some crumbled goat cheese. Top the salad with a vinagrette made of 2/3 part white balsamic vinegar, 1/3 parts olive oil, 2 garlics and half a teaspoon of  french mustard, all mixed together.

Drinking cold drinks is not the best for digestion so I try to drink herbal tea with hot food. Today I had aa "yogi tea". On the teabag holder is printed: Oneness is achieved by recognising yourself - Last thought of the day. Good night.

Slowly getting back

Well, on Sunday I started to slowly feel like the old me was coming back. Since the sun came out, I decided to use the day-light by taking care of the garden. It has not been touched for 9 months, so it was a bit daunting. But the thought of it made it feel a bigger task than it was. I got into it straight away as I usually do, and of course I know that I should not really cut the bushes too much, since we might have another freeze. But as I was enjoying myself so much, I could not stop and suddenly the whole garden apart from the trees had all been chopped down! Bit worrying, but it felt so good! What a workout it was as well...

Slowly the hyacinth, tulips, crocuses and snowdrops are starting to show themselves which feels amazing. That is the another great thing about gardening; how you can have money one year to invest in beautiful flowers and then the following  year when you decide that the garden is the last thing to spend money on: you get a nice surprise by seeing that actually most of the bulbs you planted are starting to flower again!

Today it was a beautiful day which started in not such a pretty place: King's Cross. I had to go to the Camden council building to discuss the extension we are planning ( so that I finally can have some sun in my eyes and look into the garden). We went for a coffee in Cafe Nero which is situated horribly by the road in St Pancras, but somehow the buzz of travellers mixed in with the sunshine gave me back the feeling I though I had lost for a moment: the feeling of how lucky I am to be alive. It made the rest of the day perfect. I went for a  job interview which felt very "me", and then slowly walking back through London I went in to visit a friend in the lovely new Vanessa Bruno store. I adore her marketing tools: the campaign, the look book designs and all the interiors of the boutique, not to mention the clothes! wow.

The natural kitchen

Exhausted from the day, I treated myself to The Natural Kitchen in Marylebone high street. It surely must be one of the best lunch places for a  relaxed lunch in London? If you do go there, make sure to ask the Brazilian guy downstairs in the self service cafe, for his special Acai smoothie mix, which reminded me of one of  my daily treats (oops!) in the southern parts of Brazil: Acai berries mixed with a bit of honey, chopped bananas, milk powder and then granola on top, Yummie! the only problem with Acai ( it is incredibly nutritious) is that it also has a high calorie content, so in Brazil they normally have it after a long workout as a treat to restore body balance,  somehow the people marketing Acai berries here in Europe forgot to mention that fact...

Nothingness

Well I am here, but somehow I can not get myself together to write. I have seen most of my friends over the last few weeks: having them over for long breakfasts or just meeting outside for a walk. Of course that is what I have been longing for, but also to use this time to be creative. And that is where the writer's block comes in: why oh why? when I have the time and all necessities I need to I not get a word down?

 I am so dissapointed in myself. For years this is what I have dreamt of: to have time to myself to do all the creative things that I never found the time for when i was working ( like writing a book, painting larger paintings, reading as much as I can, finish my different knitting projects... )The thing that seems to stop me is that I don't have a 9-5 job! How hilarious, I never thought I was one of those ambitious women but I obviously am. I have been working since I was very young. Even though I was studying I always made sure that I was working as well.

I feel guilty for not working but guilty for feeling guilty.. But somehow I find my days are filled with doing duties which basically takes up the whole day.  I am not sure, maybe I am in some sort of afterchock from being back. It is a huge change:I am back in the grey and cold, and every day I venture ou:t I seem to spend much more than I think I deserve. London is tricky like that, but of course if it was warmer it would be a bit easier to just have a picknick!
Anyway, now is a new day and for the moment I have the flat all to myself- time to get active and find inspiration in my new daily life. Of course it is not all doom and gloom, I see some light in the distance, due to me religiously doing my morning pages  ( see An artist's way) which I know always have a big impact on my life as well as of course the daily yoga practise.