9 months of waiting is over

I have not been able to blog as I had to focus on other things until the baby arrived; i e work...


 Spring passed very quickly and before we knew it as always May was showing a taster of what summer would be like; or not.
What is it with summers in London nowadays? When I first moved to London it felt like summers were when I could go swimming in Hampstead Heath and spend the evenings in shorts outside a pub or cafe. This whole summer went by in an instant since it rained nonstop so there was no real summer feeling of: let's stay outside and socialise. Instead it seemed like throughout June and July people just seemed to go home straight after work since it was pouring down and cold anyway. Not that I complained!
For me the weather was perfect. Being highly pregnant in a London summer was not something I was looking forward to; but instead it turned out the coldest for years so I just continued to enjoy my life with a growing stomach  ( biking in rain gear whilst being 8 months pregnant can be a bit of a challenge though).


Every day for 9 months I have counted my blessings and realized how lucky I am for everything in my life. I am sure that had I not gone travelling maybe I would not have felt the same way. I try to only see solutions, life can be a challenge many a times, but of course: feeling that it all leads to us learning something new makes all these challenges more understandable.
Throughout this year I have been trying to work as much as possible but always make sure that every day is special and that I smile through it. 


 I decided early on that I wanted to have the baby in Sweden so through the 9 months we have been travelling to and from Stockholm for scans and seeing friends. It has been the most amazing 9 months I could ever imagine. Every time we have been to Sweden we have felt like we were on holiday and made every check up truly special. 

Of course a trip to Stockholm always consists of a fika at Rosendahls trädgårdar

I have always been fond of old Swedish school posters

Foam cafe Karlavagen, so happy to be with friends and family

The wonderful cafe at the photographic museum

Time

I normally find a away around work to have my own time. In fact I consider myself an expert on managing the time.  Since I was young I have always got up quite early " Up and Jump" used to be my expression as soon as my eyes had got used to the daylight. Even during my travels I was always the first one up, doing my yoga and then having breakfast as soon as the kitchen opened in one of the hostels I stayed at. The saying " we can sleep when we are dead" might sound really annoying to some, but to me that is what I swear by. Looking back at my time travelling; I am sure that I was awake 30-40% more than most other travellers I met and since I am someone who is always on the go, imagine how much more I crammed in than my friends! Of course it is all individual as some people get far more out of staying at the hostel drinking, sleeping in the day and just taking time in one place, but for me that does not work.  
One of my bedside table books is Bodil Jönsson's " Tio tankar om tid"- "Ten Thoughts about time".  She is a physicist who has managed to grasp what time is in a very concise and approachable way. She reminds us of how to take care of our time on this planet and how to "stretch" time. The first and easy thing to do is to not repeat small experiences like going to the same restaurant, ordering the same food, travelling the same journey to work. But instead making sure that every day contains new experiences, this way there is a defined moment in everyday, which looking back makes it feel longer. 






I found a swedish blog discussing time as well and she had some interest points:


In US, researchers has found :

•  the average person spends FIVE YEARS in a car queue.
•  a whole year is spent looking for things 
• Two years are spent trying to get hold of people whom are unreachable!
• Couples spend only four minutes a day talking to each other about important matters.

These facts are hardly surprising. What do you do to stretch your life out? How do you make the days and weeks seem longer? I am curious since it is one of life's real challenges.

Spring is here

I decided to use the time off from work by going to home. To sleep in my own bed, in my own room and decide over my day was just what I needed. It was bliss. I come from a tiny fishing village called Råå, which is situated on the southern east coast of Sweden. It is a beautiful place on earth, when the weather is good I can not imagine a better place. This time my best friend mrs L with her 8 week old daugther Amanda was there as well. Mrs L and I grew up as neighbours and both left our village early, straight after college, so somehow every time we go back home it is like we become the teenagers agin but somehow living a much better existence: no worries, no hangups, no responsabilities just pure happiness. Hang on: did I not say Mrs L had a newborn? oh yes, and we loved to play with her like a little doll, but then in the evening when we were about to go out, all the parents were busy on their and were not available to take her! oh dear, so little Amanda had to be bundled into the car and come to the party. 

If you are stuck for where to go on for the summer, I can not recommend Sweden's coasts enough. The area I come from used to be a place where upper class  Europeans would go for their summer vacations: Mölle, Arild, Torekov now of course they all go to st Tropez et all, so we have the area all to ourselves. And it is heaven. Clean beaches with clear water to go for a morning swim in, perfect temperature in the water and outside, peace, nature everywhere, you can create the most idyllic holiday you ever had. Just look at the May issue of Lonely planet magazine to get an idea of Sweden in the summer.

A lot of changes

So yes I have been away for far too long from the blogosphere. But I had my reasons. I had so much to organize and so little time to do everything in that I thought it better to stay away. But now today for the first time, I felt ready to come back and tell you about the past nearly 3 months adventures. First of all we found out about a very happy surprise:

It shocked us both, but only for a moment. When we slowly had recovered we could not believe our luck and straight away started getting excited. It has so far only been a pleasure being pregnant. Of course it has been a bit tricky as I have  just started a new job where noone knows about the news yet, and I find it hard to find the right moment to tell, but otherwise we are living in bliss.
We decided that the baby should if everything goes according to plan; be born in Sweden. So we go there for check ups every 6 weeks. Which in itself has been so wonderful since my best friend just had her first born: Amanda, the most gorgous creature I have met, as well as my younger sister is expecting and is about to pop next month. I have been upset about not living in Sweden to get to experience this with them, but now I get the best of both worlds!

Since I  started working it has been nonstop as all my days off gets bundles into the trips home but when I have had a day off I have made sure to spend it to the fullest.
Since I have been in fashion for years I found the thought of walking around in "non fashion what so ever maternity wear"pretty daunting. After having visited two maternity stores, I realised it is not for me. So I decided challenge myself  by not buying into the whole system , but only investing in clothes that I could wear after the pregnancy as well.  Of course you have to be a bit clever with it, never buying high-waisted or tight fitting around the stomach, but apart from that it is amazing how you don't have to loose your sense of style just because you grow a few inches. I am lucky since I am growing whilst the layers are getting less so it is definetely an easier challenge than if it was getting colder, but even then I think it could be possible.

Here are a few pics of my life after coming back....

Mr M collecting me from my world trip. Little did he know what awaited him!

Without the sun one have to work that much harder

I am determined to keep active in order to feel inspiration coming back into my life. For the moment I am quite struggling with my morning pages on some days, but I know that it gets easier after a while and it is just parts of the process. Yesterday I had my artist's date at the National Gallery. I decided to visit the usual suspects as I never tire of them. ( and the Italian rooms always makes me feel it is too much to take in and I can not focus) Concentrating more on the light and what they do to me. Are we not lucky to have all these masterpieces at hand?? If you are bored of London you are bored of life.... yeah whatever, but really think about it. How can this not be true?

                                                               Bathers at Asnieres by Seurat

Grand canal Venice by Monet

Irises by Monet

Snow scene by Monet

Fighting Timeraire by Turner

The toilet of Venus by Velasquez

Bathers by Cezanne

 I can sit and stare at Irises by Monet for a loooong time. When I came home I had to go against my policy and actually cut my first one in the garden to bring in , but the pleasure it gives me! 

 Breakfast has always been sacred to me. As I have time to play for the moment I try to vary it as much as possible on a small budget, so I bake and bake and have lots of fruit. 

Mixed passionfruit and natural yoghurt. Cut peaches, passionfruit, raisins and oatbran.

Out of hibernation

I can not remember when exactly my bear behaviour started, but in the winter, apart from doing outside sports and going for long walks; I have never really enjoyed socialising outside. I love giving myself the permission to stay at home during the cold days to expand in any way possible ( yes, even the food way). So I am not sure why I have felt so surprised since i got back to London that I did not feel for venturing outside apart from going to my life painting class. But somehow I seem to have woken up now, even though it is still only February so hopefully there will soon be some interesting postings on this blog. In the meantime a recipe cooked in my dungeon today:

Herbchicken with roasted vegetables for 4-5 people

4-5 frozen big chicken fillets 

2 middle sized red onions

7 peeled garlics

3 carrots, cut lengthways into pieces

2 peppers, cut into pieces

Some potatoes and sweet potatoes cut into pieces. Peeled or unpeeled it is how you like it.

1 tbsp dried thyme

2 teaspoons of rosemary

3 decilitres of white wine

10 Black olives ( not a must)

Heat the oven to 200 degrees.

Coat an oven dish with olive oil. Fill it with the frozen chicken fillets, the vegetables, the olives, garlic and all the potatoes. Pour about 2 teaspoons of salt on top,quite a lot of black pepper and the dried herbs. Pour the wine  and 2 tablespoons of olive oil over everything. Let it stand in the oven for 60 min. Turn the heating down a bit the last 10 min. 

Serve with a salad made of baby spinach, watercress, pomegranate and some crumbled goat cheese. Top the salad with a vinagrette made of 2/3 part white balsamic vinegar, 1/3 parts olive oil, 2 garlics and half a teaspoon of  french mustard, all mixed together.

Drinking cold drinks is not the best for digestion so I try to drink herbal tea with hot food. Today I had aa "yogi tea". On the teabag holder is printed: Oneness is achieved by recognising yourself - Last thought of the day. Good night.

Slowly getting back

Well, on Sunday I started to slowly feel like the old me was coming back. Since the sun came out, I decided to use the day-light by taking care of the garden. It has not been touched for 9 months, so it was a bit daunting. But the thought of it made it feel a bigger task than it was. I got into it straight away as I usually do, and of course I know that I should not really cut the bushes too much, since we might have another freeze. But as I was enjoying myself so much, I could not stop and suddenly the whole garden apart from the trees had all been chopped down! Bit worrying, but it felt so good! What a workout it was as well...

Slowly the hyacinth, tulips, crocuses and snowdrops are starting to show themselves which feels amazing. That is the another great thing about gardening; how you can have money one year to invest in beautiful flowers and then the following  year when you decide that the garden is the last thing to spend money on: you get a nice surprise by seeing that actually most of the bulbs you planted are starting to flower again!

Today it was a beautiful day which started in not such a pretty place: King's Cross. I had to go to the Camden council building to discuss the extension we are planning ( so that I finally can have some sun in my eyes and look into the garden). We went for a coffee in Cafe Nero which is situated horribly by the road in St Pancras, but somehow the buzz of travellers mixed in with the sunshine gave me back the feeling I though I had lost for a moment: the feeling of how lucky I am to be alive. It made the rest of the day perfect. I went for a  job interview which felt very "me", and then slowly walking back through London I went in to visit a friend in the lovely new Vanessa Bruno store. I adore her marketing tools: the campaign, the look book designs and all the interiors of the boutique, not to mention the clothes! wow.

The natural kitchen

Exhausted from the day, I treated myself to The Natural Kitchen in Marylebone high street. It surely must be one of the best lunch places for a  relaxed lunch in London? If you do go there, make sure to ask the Brazilian guy downstairs in the self service cafe, for his special Acai smoothie mix, which reminded me of one of  my daily treats (oops!) in the southern parts of Brazil: Acai berries mixed with a bit of honey, chopped bananas, milk powder and then granola on top, Yummie! the only problem with Acai ( it is incredibly nutritious) is that it also has a high calorie content, so in Brazil they normally have it after a long workout as a treat to restore body balance,  somehow the people marketing Acai berries here in Europe forgot to mention that fact...

Nothingness

Well I am here, but somehow I can not get myself together to write. I have seen most of my friends over the last few weeks: having them over for long breakfasts or just meeting outside for a walk. Of course that is what I have been longing for, but also to use this time to be creative. And that is where the writer's block comes in: why oh why? when I have the time and all necessities I need to I not get a word down?

 I am so dissapointed in myself. For years this is what I have dreamt of: to have time to myself to do all the creative things that I never found the time for when i was working ( like writing a book, painting larger paintings, reading as much as I can, finish my different knitting projects... )The thing that seems to stop me is that I don't have a 9-5 job! How hilarious, I never thought I was one of those ambitious women but I obviously am. I have been working since I was very young. Even though I was studying I always made sure that I was working as well.

I feel guilty for not working but guilty for feeling guilty.. But somehow I find my days are filled with doing duties which basically takes up the whole day.  I am not sure, maybe I am in some sort of afterchock from being back. It is a huge change:I am back in the grey and cold, and every day I venture ou:t I seem to spend much more than I think I deserve. London is tricky like that, but of course if it was warmer it would be a bit easier to just have a picknick!
Anyway, now is a new day and for the moment I have the flat all to myself- time to get active and find inspiration in my new daily life. Of course it is not all doom and gloom, I see some light in the distance, due to me religiously doing my morning pages  ( see An artist's way) which I know always have a big impact on my life as well as of course the daily yoga practise.

Swedish breakfasts

I did not miss anything foodwise during my travels apart from "a proper cup of tea" sometimes. But now being back; oh how I revel in my favourite meal of the day: breakfast.  Here is the limited editioned Gingerbread filmjolk ( which is what all swedes eat, kind of sourmilk/yoghurt, very tasty and healthy) mixed with blueberries and the swedish " havrefras" which is another swedish delicacy made from oats that are puffed and sprinkled with ryeflakes. Yummie.

A new beginning

So I am back again in Europe after months and months of travelling around the world looking for inspiration and just experiencing what is out there. I felt I needed to do this in order to progress and somehow it gave me all that I had wished for. I feel so lucky to have met so many wonderful people, seen the most spectacular views and places in the world, not had any problems and just learnt to appreciate every day and every meeting.  

Coming back home was unreal for the first two days but then after that it was more like the trip was a dream. It felt so faraway and so different to the life in London. I left to celebrate christmas and new year in Sweden with my family and friends and that helped me to come back to a normal existence. But I am not sure that is what I want. I am so used to creating my own day that I think it would be impossible to go back to being told what to do. But I am not worried, somehow my journey taught me more than anything not to worry about things. And I feel so much better for not wasting all that time.  At the moment I am doing a course online in " creativity"and that is helping me as well to slowly get back into having a structured day. But for now I am enjoying the last few days of being at home. The weather is stunning with lots of snow, so I go skiing and play with the dogs.